


a regular romantic comedy

by Raven (singlecrow)



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-19
Updated: 2009-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-04 16:03:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singlecrow/pseuds/Raven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seducing a Ferengi was apparently more difficult than it looked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a regular romantic comedy

**Author's Note:**

> For Laura, who wanted an om nom Rom com.

Seducing a Ferengi was, apparently, more difficult than it looked.

"Oh, it's easy," Jake said, visiting the station. "Just rub their ears. They like that."

But when she tried out _oo-mox_ on Rom, from behind as to take him by surprise, he just stuttered and looked embarrassed, and found an excuse to be somewhere else.

"You could try offering to chew his food for him," Dax said. Leeta wanted to know if she was speaking from experience in dating Ferengi, and Dax said not exactly, but there was that the-personal-is-not-political-but-cultural-diversity-is-kind-of-cool thing that Emony had gone through, which was interesting, Leeta conceded, but hadn't it been fifty years ago? Yes, Dax said, but it wasn't as if Ferengi culture had changed much in ten thousand years and did she want to stand on the promenade discussing sociopolitical norms on Ferenginar, or did she want to get Rom into bed, and Leeta conceded that too.

But when Leeta offered to masticate Rom's tube grubs, he stuttered, looked embarrassed and ran away.

Dax pointed out that while the Ferengi Commerce Authority still didn't want women to wear clothes, it was all about context, and a glimpse of, say, Vulcan ankle had most male Ferengi reaching for their lobes. Which meant what, Leeta said. Which meant, Dax said, maybe she ought to try more conventional humanoid methods.

But when Leeta looked at Rom with that look she reserved for the most high-rolling customers at the bar, and looked deep into his eyes, and reflectively at his lobes, and asked if he wanted to go back to her quarters and _compare accounts_, he looked like he would cry, stuttered, and ran away.

"When it comes to a Ferengi's accounts," Jake said sagely, later, "size matters."

"And Rom isn't…" – Dax made an expansive but somehow very precise gesture.

"But I don't care about that!" Leeta yelled, and went back to the promenade.

Quark said, when she'd screamed at him for a while, and they'd argued about the exact parameters of the employer-employee relationship and whether this included sex with family members, and he'd threatened to dock her pay if she ever mentioned Rom and sex in the same sentence again, it was putting customers off their drinks, and she'd threatened to send the FCA a copy of his ledgers, and for good measure, tell Odo about the loose floor-plate behind the bar, if he even thought about docking her pay _or_ mentioning this to Rom, that she was missing the point.

"The point?" Dax said.

"The point," Leeta said. "Have you ever said _anything_ to Rom that didn't lead to him stuttering and running away?"

Next time she saw Rom, he didn't say anything, because she didn't ask him any questions, and he didn't run away, because she had tight hold of his hand, and he did look a little embarrassed, because Dax, Jake and Quark were exhibiting various facial expressions at the bar, but he started to smile, a slow, sweet smile, as she led him carefully up the stairs.


End file.
